The Space Between Arrival and Departure: The Presence Paradox (Copy)
“The trouble is, you think you have time.”
- Jack Kornfield
There's a moment that happens on every meaningful journey, usually somewhere between the first day's excitement and the last day's reluctance to leave, when you stop being a visitor and start being present.
Have you ever been somewhere, maybe a small café in an unfamiliar city, or a park bench in a foreign neighborhood, where you suddenly stopped being a tourist and started being human?
When you put away your camera, close your book, and let go of your mental checklist of must-sees. When you find yourself simply sitting, maybe watching an elderly woman arrange flowers on tables with the kind of reverence usually reserved for prayer. And then she catches your eye and smiles, and something shifts inside you. Suddenly you realize you’re not just observing someone else’s life, you’re sharing it.
Here's what I've learned after creating transformative travel experiences,
the most profound moments happen when we stop trying to have profound moments.
When we release our grip on expectations and instead open our hands to whatever wants to emerge.
Research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development confirms what seasoned travelers know intuitively: the quality of our relationships, including the brief connections we make on the road, is the greatest predictor of happiness and fulfillment. But a genuine relationship or even experience requires genuine presence.
Think about the difference between taking a photo of a sunset and actually watching it. Both involve the same sunset, but only one involves *you*. The same principle applies to every aspect of travel. We can visit places, or we can be present to them. The difference changes everything.
When we show up authentically to a place and its people, something beautiful happens: we stop being extractive tourists and become contributing participants. Our presence becomes a gift rather than a transaction.
That shift, from consumption to connection, transforms travel from a privilege we enjoy to a responsibility we embrace. When we truly show up, we can't help but recognize that travel is never just about us.
